Believing in Nerphs

I just finished watching “Lady in the water”, a much better movie than expected. M. Night Shyamalan does not resort to the final “gotcha ya” moment – a dead man walking, a friend turned madman villain, a old home town revealed as an isolated experiment in a new age. This movie was about the dream – to be childlike (satired by Paul Giamatti on a couch, curled up in fetile position, milk dripping from his face, awaiting the next chapter of the fairy tale story) and belief.

It’s about believing that there are things in life that are more than what appears on the hard surface we expect; and finding your rightful place in this more complex, but rewarding order. Mathieu Ricard says ignorance is not being able to see life for what it really is. Buddism teaches that reality is being able to see the world undisturbed, without spin and distortion. In most of our lives, we assign all things arbitrary titles and attributes like “good” and “bad”, “I” and “them”. The world, in reality, is pure and unjudged, flowing without these assignments and qualitative evaluations. The happiest people (and most successful investors) have the ability to blow away the fog, and look clearly at the light. To see things as they really are.

As I continue to reach for more fulfillment, reality becomes more bare. Fear can take over or optimism, revealing all the opportunity for amazing journey and possibility that lies ahead. Its a battle. I have a friend who refuses to see the opportunity that I see for him. He is blind and spends his days hating himself, his past, his future. But, for me, even just saying the words - that the future has so much promise - letting them ring out, brings them finally to the forefront. They are absolutely true. Its too often said and simultaneously ignored: This IS the only life we are ever going to lead and fulfillment no greater than mere acceptance is only our own fault.

So much is spoken and written about fulfillment. The way I imagine it will one day feel like was described by Ricard and spoken about by Covey: when things feel right, at ease. When the noise, fear and distraction fade away and all of sudden quiet serenity shines through. Just a few hours ago, I was sitting at Mizner Park, battling the cacophony from two dueling bands; the strenuous life; the staring people. And, stopping, breathing deeply, I felt a peace come over me. Think that moment, from Wicker Park, when Matthew (Hartnett) finally sees Lisa (Diane Kruger) – the silence, commotion, estrangement, longing at last fading to “The Scientist”:
“Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are….”

In that moment, the brightness of color, I felt reborn. A moment of the quieting of anxiety and endless noise of life. The feeling is best described as being comfortable with where I was, who I was, and where I was going. That could be something close to happiness, fulfillment.

So that’s what I have to go on so far. Closing in on 35 years now. Just a few days away. But, even though that’s all I got so far in the semester, I think I am ahead of the class. Next, I am working on believing in Nerphs. I will talk to a Yogi in a few months about that one, it might be a bit tougher.